Nagoya Writes

January 6, 2008

To Wait (Endless Walk) by Ohm Miyamura

Filed under: Issue: Dec 2006,Miyamura,Poetry — usbengoshi @ 6:20 am

待つ (歩き続けること)
みやむら おうむ

赤くなった太陽が西の空からビルを揺らしていた
道路は熔けて
その上に焼き付いていた記憶も
蒸発していた

それから陽は落ちたが
ぼくは歩き続けていた
ぼくだけのものと思っていた人の許へ
或いは蒸発しなかった唯ひとつの記憶の下へ

あの夜 気を狂わせる寸前のまま待ち続け
それより外 何も出来ないまま待ち続け
静かに待つこともできず 歩き続けた

木立は揺れていたかも知れない
月は気高く掛かっていたかも知れない
川もいつものように流れ続けていただろう

けれど 突き落とされそうな
丘の上から見下ろした暗闇には
ヘッドライトが鬼火のように
迷い乱れていた

ベトベトとまとわり付く汗を拭くすべもなく
あの交差点まで
次の電柱まで
仕舞いには何の目標もないまま
勝手に脚だけが動いていたが
それでも
回送電車の運転台や
闇に光るラーメン屋の窓が
通り過ぎて行き
じっとしている苦しみだけは避けることができたのだ

時計も消え 月も消え 星も消え
何も考えられず 何も浮かばなくなったその時
向こう側に
灯台のような駅が 大きな光を放ちながら
現れた

ほどなく 東山の木立を抜けて
洗い尽くすように 淡い朝日も差してくる

涼しげな朝は 待つ苦しみを一瞬消し去った
けれど 昇り始めた太陽は
今日もまた
来るべき午後の煉獄を予感させていたのだ

To Wait (Endless Walk)
Ohm Miyamura

Buildings swayed under the reddened western sun
Roads melted and
Even the memories baked upon them
Evaporated

Then, the sun set but
I was still walking
To the person who I thought I owned to myself
Or, to the only memory which had not evaporated

That night, I walked with a mind on the verge of madness
Waiting was all that I could do
Yet, I could not wait without keeping on my walk

Trees might have been swaying
The moon may have hung in a solemn hue of blue
Rivers perhaps ran as usual

Looking down into the dark from the hill side
Where I almost fell
Head lights were floating
Like as many spirits

Not knowing what to do with the sticking sweat
Thinking of the distance only to the next intersection
Or to the next telephone pole
Eventually without an object in mind
Legs alone were moving forwards
Yet
The driver’s seats of deadhead trains
The glowing windows of the noodle shops
Had all gone past

And that helped me bear the agony of waiting

Clock, the moon, the stars all disappeared
The moment my thoughts came to a halt and when nothing was there in my mind
Over there
As if it were a lighthouse
The station with a huge neon sign came into sight

Soon, through trees of the eastern mountains
Comes the sun rinsing the whole scene

Coolish morning erased the pain of waiting for a while
But the rising sun
Of this day too
Makes me feel the forthcoming purgatory of afternoon

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